“Cats drip over the fences and slither like syrup over the ground to look for fish heads.” - John Steinbeck in Cannery Row

Happy Christmas & New Year and all that!

The holiday I’m looking forward to this year is Mardi Gras, for once. Why? Because I’ll be in California, seeing how it suits my fancy as a potential new residence after spring semester is over. Interesting, no? I thought so myself.

It’s finals week.

And may I just take a moment to say, THANK GOD! This semester has exhausted me beyond all my worst exhaustion nightmares, and this week in particular is very close to whupping my ass entirely. I took my first exam yesterday morning, and then had a presentation on a final project yesterday afternoon. Today I have another exam, and then another tomorrow… and another Friday… and the last one Saturday… and I cannot wait to get them finished! The only one I am at all worried about is the one tomorrow–the math one–but the awesome news is that this is the LAST math I have to take.

Did you hear that? NO MORE MATH. I could dance a jig. If it weren’t about forty degrees in here and if I weren’t bundled up like a colorblind Eskimo (with strangely Italian-looking features).

And if I wasn’t sitting on the toilet.

That’s right. I was not exaggerating when I said this week was kicking my ass. I am so busy with studying (and trying to squeeze a bit of work and sleep and a bath or so in between studying sessions) that any and all leisure activities must be deliberately scheduled to coincide with necessary activities, i.e. if I want to talk to my friend or my sister, I have to plan to call them while I am driving… and I absolutely detest talking on the phone in the car. But these are desperate times, people, and you know what that calls for. Therefore, when you speak to me on the phone, I will also be on the interstate, and very probably trying to eat something, to boot (something else I cannot stand to do while in the car). And when you read my blog, you will have to do so with the knowledge that, as I am becoming a multitasking virtuoso, I typed it while taking a dump.

You’re welcome.

See you next week!

1. Tosser/Tosspot

2. Wanker

3. Prat

4. Sod

5. Berk

6. Nutter

7. Git

8. Twat

UPDATE: I forgot “plonker”.